One of the Best Feelings is...

rawritsgmonster:

… when your little sister discovers a band that you love all on her own.

My sister has been doing a lot of this lately.

Her music tastes are getting so much better.

 or worse, haha. when’s her birthday?

pride

i stayed up to finish this damn english paper, once again, because my teacher lost it. i’m really proud of myself, because i have finally chosen to take control of my life.

The shape of things to come.

brandon1031:

whitneyrecherche:

(via brandon1031)

THAT’S THE EXACT TITLE OF THE OC EPISODE WHERE RYAN PUNCHES THE DEAN IN THE FACE. BBBBRANDON, THIS IS A SIGN.

A sign of what, WWWWhitney?

I just meant it as my life from now on…

 it’s a sign that you love chaos, and that is all that’s ever on The OC, besides relationships and cheating and money scandals.

damn, i hate english

no, i hate my teacher, who gives us copious amounts of work all due on the same goddamn day.

AND SHE LOSES ME AND BAILEY’S HARD FUCKING WORK.

The shape of things to come.

(via brandon1031)

THAT’S THE EXACT TITLE OF THE OC EPISODE WHERE RYAN PUNCHES THE DEAN IN THE FACE. BBBBRANDON, THIS IS A SIGN.

ever heard of the phantom limb sensation?

wikipedia defines it as the sensation that a missing limb is still attached to the body and functioning with other body parts. this is how i like to define how i feel about you. you’re gone, and you’ve been gone for 10 months. out of my life for 10 months, but you’re still a part of it. you’ve had an effect on me since the day moment we met, and i’m not even trying to be cheesy about it. and yes, i will get over you. but the things you taught me, the way i miss you, the effect you still have on me to this day, that will never change. the part i hate most about all of this is that every memory we have is so clear in my mind, and you couldn’t remember half of those memories if you tried. you always thought i meant more to you than you meant to me, and you we’re wrong. i don’t hate the way things are now. i like myself more now, but i suppose there was a lot i went through that you don’t know about. this was much easier when you didn’t have a tumblr, god damn. here is a letter i wrote to you, dated July 13th, 2009:

”Dear ______,
I want you to know that I could be with 1,000 people and still feel alone if you weren’t there. I suffered for months; ask anyone close to me. I could put on a happy face, but when no one was around, I was miserable. People told me it was tearing me apart, despite my attempts to keep it from them. It’s like, whenever I talked to you after those agonizing months, I’d never felt so happy. But when you began ignoring me again, I’d never felt so shitty. I thought when you said it was ‘okay’ you meant it. I was wrong. Despite what you may think, I always believed you had potential. For a long while, you could do no wrong, I knew you were perfectly fine, drinking and smoking and having sex and whatever else you did, but for some reason, I didn’t care. I was just ‘in love’ with you. Love is blind. I admire you so much. You spent hours and hours on me and I never realized it. I keep thinking, “Okay, he really liked me and he cared about me. I was something special to him.” But you seem to act like we weren’t as close as we were. I still think about you whenever the phone rings. So many times I’ve been told, “He didn’t care about you that much,” “You were just another girl,” and “He didn’t like you, he wanted something, and not your personality.” I hate to think those things. I want you to know that I didn’t just imagine you liking me. But, as time goes on, I’ve begun to believe it. I’m the kind of girl who won’t settle for less than the best she can get. And I won’t be fully happy until we’re at the ‘talking daily’ status that we were at for so long, if we ever even reach that point. I’ve relied on fall as our reunion season, but I’m afraid it won’t work this time. I’m much more sorry than you can ever begin to imagine. You’re one of my favorite people I’ve met so far. I fear that you regret all the time you spent on me. And although it’s led to tons of tears, it’s also led to an equal amount of butterflies and laughs. I don’t regret meeting you and spending those precious hours with you, even if my heart’s completely broken. I never cried before you were gone, and now I cry all the time. The littlest memory of you can set me off. I want to thank you for making me laugh harder than anyone ever has. I want to thank you for saying you loved me even if you didn’t mean it. It was always nice to hear and made me happy. I liked that I could just be myself when I talked to you. I liked that we never ran out of things to say. You can deny liking me or even knowing me, bvut don’t ever deny that we had excellent verbal chemistry. I hate that I’ve forgotten your voice. Maybe I hate that most of all. I’m afraid you were the only worthy guy who would ever liked me. I’m not the only one for you, but what if you’re the only one out there for me? God. I can’t imagine feeling shittier than I do right now. Whenever you hugged me, it was all I could think about for the rest of the day. I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you constantly. I was afraid to like you because if we’d ever dated, I’d be afraid to screw things up. I really love and care about you. It’s simple. You were my first love. I won’t ever forget you, I know that much. I will always love you. At least a little bit. I wish you joy and happiness, but mostly love.

PS- I hate being a faggy sap like this.
-Whitney”

UPDATE; Apparenly, I was having a motherfucking shitty night on July 13th, 2009. That was the night before the morning that I quit eating greasy potato chips on my couch, watching Roseanne like it was my world, and calling Garrett every single day to cry about how much I loved/missed you. I told you I would never let you read this letter, but I changed my mind. You had more of an effect on me than anyone. I know I have shitty excuses but they’re the only ones I’ve got. I’m sorry for that, too.